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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
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