Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.

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  (440): You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage. http://tfl.nu/sj4s
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  (075): View more from

  thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.

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  (075): thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs. http://tfl.nu/pfb6
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"

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  (+44): You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action" http://tfl.nu/vmud
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  (530): View more from California

  That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.

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  (530): That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/t5d7
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  (845): View more from New York

  Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"

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  (845): Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him" http://tfl.nu/pb7e
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.

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  (816): Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion. http://tfl.nu/6cof
  Replies (9) Good night (455) Bad night (338)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.

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  (307): all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot. http://tfl.nu/o7h8
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?

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  (270): We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job? http://tfl.nu/b7v3
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  (585): View more from New York

  She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.

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  (585): She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/s5wp
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.

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  (717): Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend. http://tfl.nu/7j2q
  Replies (9) Good night (776) Bad night (324)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.

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  (541): It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever. http://tfl.nu/ky4b
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.

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  (410): Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips. http://tfl.nu/4phy
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

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  (720): So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together. http://tfl.nu/i6go
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  (972): View more from Texas

  The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.

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  (972): The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now. http://tfl.nu/6t25
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship

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  (204): I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot (1-204): I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship http://tfl.nu/q28b
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