Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.

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  (918): She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup. http://tfl.nu/rkhg
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.

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  (630): I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time. http://tfl.nu/846n
  Replies (7) Good night (219) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check

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  (770): Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check http://tfl.nu/nnqt
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  (530): View more from California

  Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.

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  (530): Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon. http://tfl.nu/gqwa
  Replies (8) Good night (744) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever

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  (407): I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever http://tfl.nu/eali
  Replies (3) Good night (313) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..

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  (443): No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man.. http://tfl.nu/sort
  Replies (6) Good night (343) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.

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  (817): Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots. http://tfl.nu/sx8s
  Replies (6) Good night (128) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.

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  (251): Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night. http://tfl.nu/kxkv
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.

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  (316): If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong. http://tfl.nu/36w1
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Wine is not your friend.

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  (817): I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories. (972): Wine is not your friend. http://tfl.nu/ofhm
  Replies (5) Good night (272) Bad night (991)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!

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  (+44): He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again! http://tfl.nu/ztd6
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  (509): View more from Washington

  first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.

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  (509): first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off. http://tfl.nu/heya
  Replies (6) Good night (220) Bad night (967)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...

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  (775): Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right... http://tfl.nu/dr5k
  Replies (5) Good night (296) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again

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  (310): Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again http://tfl.nu/9kfj
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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  (864): Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am http://tfl.nu/oar5
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