Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of the Month

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang. http://tfl.nu/znwa
  Replies (9) Good night (1924) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I have a surprise for you

  (1-254): View more from Texas

  Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): I have a surprise for you (1-254): Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy! http://tfl.nu/af5l
  Replies (5) Good night (1919) Bad night (196) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen. http://tfl.nu/ant7
  Replies (8) Good night (1876) Bad night (183)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle. http://tfl.nu/m2od
  Replies (11) Good night (1873) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius" (404): I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off. http://tfl.nu/115h
  Replies (3) Good night (1862) Bad night (189)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/659e
  Replies (11) Good night (1860) Bad night (135) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS? http://tfl.nu/n2hz
  Replies (11) Good night (1856) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (830): we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked. http://tfl.nu/50u7
  Replies (8) Good night (1827) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him http://tfl.nu/yvui
  Replies (12) Good night (1822) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms. http://tfl.nu/079r
  Replies (24) Good night (1802) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy. http://tfl.nu/nung
  Replies (14) Good night (1800) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you. http://tfl.nu/c03k
  Replies (9) Good night (1790) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha http://tfl.nu/cxju
  Replies (7) Good night (1786) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan. http://tfl.nu/f7sf
  Replies (13) Good night (1784) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  She said she liked strap-ons.

  (1-916): View more from California

  SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): She said she liked strap-ons. (1-916): SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER! http://tfl.nu/41v6
  Replies (14) Good night (1764) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt