Texts From Last Night

Best Nights of All Time

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  (716): View more from New York

  Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?

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  (716): Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose? http://tfl.nu/8x2f
  Replies (12) Good night (487) Bad night (1253) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.

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  (514): What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign. http://tfl.nu/l1zt
  Replies (11) Good night (487) Bad night (3266) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday

  (813): View more from Florida

  Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.

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  (813): ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday (813): Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun. http://tfl.nu/oehn
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (126)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo

  (810): View more from Michigan

  With himself

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  (810): I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo (810): With himself http://tfl.nu/5c4h
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (765)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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  (940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx
  Replies (11) Good night (487) Bad night (3507) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.

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  (818): I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here. http://tfl.nu/5v02
  Replies (19) Good night (487) Bad night (4556)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"

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  (425): its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks" http://tfl.nu/ax74
  Replies (21) Good night (487) Bad night (3925) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase

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  (770): We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase http://tfl.nu/nkt0
  Replies (0) Good night (487) Bad night (2353) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.

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  (317): hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room. http://tfl.nu/qubv
  Replies (14) Good night (487) Bad night (1903) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.

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  (443): There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse. http://tfl.nu/gbkz
  Replies (3) Good night (487) Bad night (1470) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.

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  (864): She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar. http://tfl.nu/4bhx
  Replies (4) Good night (487) Bad night (961) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  U took a sewing needle to his nipple

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  Psshh,

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  (201): U took a sewing needle to his nipple (1-201): Psshh, http://tfl.nu/q54n
  Replies (5) Good night (487) Bad night (1266) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out

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  (303): oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out http://tfl.nu/89b7
  Replies (15) Good night (487) Bad night (3335) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.

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  (519): dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto. http://tfl.nu/omlc
  Replies (40) Good night (487) Bad night (3205) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that

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  (949): Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that http://tfl.nu/44ly
  Replies (35) Good night (486) Bad night (5255) Order T-Shirt