Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of Today

• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell? (913): I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space. http://tfl.nu/aqjc
  Replies (5) Good night (656) Bad night (111)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital! http://tfl.nu/x7o2
  Replies (9) Good night (422) Bad night (109) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today. http://tfl.nu/vvd3
  Replies (8) Good night (612) Bad night (102) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many. http://tfl.nu/e659
  Replies (3) Good night (466) Bad night (99) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk. http://tfl.nu/ry9j
  Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (93) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was. http://tfl.nu/th2f
  Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (86) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other... http://tfl.nu/529q
  Replies (4) Good night (819) Bad night (79) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer. http://tfl.nu/h1wg
  Replies (5) Good night (278) Bad night (77) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze. http://tfl.nu/erxr
  Replies (0) Good night (742) Bad night (76) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (424): Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus. http://tfl.nu/3sel
  Replies (7) Good night (529) Bad night (76) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome. http://tfl.nu/5y9x
  Replies (2) Good night (396) Bad night (70) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Technically my penis started a fight tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets
  Replies (8) Good night (440) Bad night (68) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/fpxj
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (66) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  WHY AM I NOT THERE?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday (1-604): WHY AM I NOT THERE? http://tfl.nu/j17k
  Replies (6) Good night (457) Bad night (57) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm. http://tfl.nu/epij
  Replies (2) Good night (256) Bad night (52) Order T-Shirt