Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (585): View more from New York

  The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.

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  (585): The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many. http://tfl.nu/e659
  Replies (3) Good night (463) Bad night (99) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.

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  (574): I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her. http://tfl.nu/9498
  Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (96)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.

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  (443): i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk. http://tfl.nu/ry9j
  Replies (1) Good night (397) Bad night (93) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."

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  (860): I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off." http://tfl.nu/975o
  Replies (8) Good night (913) Bad night (90)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.

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  (917): bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was. http://tfl.nu/th2f
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (83) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...

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  (207): Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other... http://tfl.nu/529q
  Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (79) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.

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  (636): We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer. http://tfl.nu/h1wg
  Replies (5) Good night (275) Bad night (77) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.

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  (731): Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze. http://tfl.nu/erxr
  Replies (0) Good night (738) Bad night (76) Order T-Shirt
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  (424): View more from California

  Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

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  (424): Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus. http://tfl.nu/3sel
  Replies (7) Good night (524) Bad night (76) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.

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  (414): i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome. http://tfl.nu/5y9x
  Replies (2) Good night (395) Bad night (70) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Technically my penis started a fight tonight

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  (920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets
  Replies (8) Good night (439) Bad night (68) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

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  (313): At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/fpxj
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (66) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  WHY AM I NOT THERE?

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  (604): Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday (1-604): WHY AM I NOT THERE? http://tfl.nu/j17k
  Replies (6) Good night (456) Bad night (57) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.

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  (601): Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm. http://tfl.nu/epij
  Replies (2) Good night (253) Bad night (52) Order T-Shirt