Texts From Last Night

kingturtle's Favorites Texts:

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

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  (773): well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it. http://tfl.nu/vp9s
  Replies (19) Good night (5639) Bad night (770)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers

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  (973): i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers http://tfl.nu/mvp5
  Replies (30) Good night (7501) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.

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  (503): I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't. http://tfl.nu/gt6v
  Replies (6) Good night (3793) Bad night (1000) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"

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  (602): I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs" http://tfl.nu/3iif
  Replies (19) Good night (3406) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

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  (717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands http://tfl.nu/c6ww
  Replies (83) Good night (46860) Bad night (1717) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Damn. That makes sense

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems

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  (610): Damn. That makes sense (1-610): I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems http://tfl.nu/ztoj
  Replies (3) Good night (1656) Bad night (289) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.

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  (484): this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal. http://tfl.nu/sd8q
  Replies (16) Good night (3565) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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  (401): Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' http://tfl.nu/mde3
  Replies (246) Good night (64474) Bad night (2448) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

  (1-559): View more from California

  That depends on who this is.

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  (559): So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true? (1-559): That depends on who this is. http://tfl.nu/a6jm
  Replies (42) Good night (13721) Bad night (1579) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.

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  (805): you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out. http://tfl.nu/ndw1
  Replies (50) Good night (1227) Bad night (17794)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  how high are you?

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  (336): do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos? (828): how high are you? http://tfl.nu/9z76
  Replies (59) Good night (11568) Bad night (1257)