Texts From Last Night

glitterthisthat's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (816) Good night (136644) Bad night (8395) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing." http://tfl.nu/cqut
  Replies (16) Good night (5716) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes? http://tfl.nu/qlm2
  Replies (22) Good night (4886) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch? http://tfl.nu/p8up
  Replies (12) Good night (4746) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps... http://tfl.nu/7lmv
  Replies (15) Good night (2188) Bad night (3973) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets." http://tfl.nu/13ll
  Replies (17) Good night (7076) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just hotboxed my laundry basket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I just hotboxed my laundry basket. http://tfl.nu/rt8k
  Replies (11) Good night (3029) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis. http://tfl.nu/xpx8
  Replies (9) Good night (1304) Bad night (4374) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  meow

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): meow (1-402): WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD. http://tfl.nu/2v4y
  Replies (96) Good night (4650) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone http://tfl.nu/hyr8
  Replies (240) Good night (1755) Bad night (7982) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i can't find my house

  (1-845): View more from New York

  we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.

  (845): View more from New York

  i'm pretty sure my house moved.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): i can't find my house (1-845): we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago. (845): i'm pretty sure my house moved. http://tfl.nu/nzng
  Replies (50) Good night (12893) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know. http://tfl.nu/71w6
  Replies (24) Good night (10878) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  his penis is PERFECT

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm

  (802): View more from Vermont

  or knit it little hat

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): his penis is PERFECT (802): I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm (802): or knit it little hat http://tfl.nu/4cuj
  Replies (36) Good night (9298) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows. http://tfl.nu/2kv7
  Replies (17) Good night (4355) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window http://tfl.nu/m081
  Replies (12) Good night (691) Bad night (2581) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils. http://tfl.nu/b8ey
  Replies (10) Good night (1105) Bad night (3418) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER

  (1-641): View more from Iowa

  STOP listening to that song

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER (1-641): STOP listening to that song http://tfl.nu/q2fx
  Replies (78) Good night (4928) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  People with herpes should wear stickers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): People with herpes should wear stickers. http://tfl.nu/8ji1
  Replies (50) Good night (681) Bad night (3371) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this" http://tfl.nu/g0yg
  Replies (9) Good night (1756) Bad night (6022)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number

  (813): View more from Florida

  so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter. (407): i think you have the wrong number (813): so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool. http://tfl.nu/uuec
  Replies (70) Good night (6628) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (178) Good night (48619) Bad night (1810)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  three words: i give head

  (770): View more from Georgia

  three words: not that well

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): three words: i give head (770): three words: not that well http://tfl.nu/mukd
  Replies (65) Good night (960) Bad night (8164)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy. http://tfl.nu/jygh
  Replies (15) Good night (6048) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away http://tfl.nu/s83j
  Replies (6) Good night (3557) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston, we have a problem

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  where are u?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Houston, we have a problem (781): where are u? (617): Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here. http://tfl.nu/zyw6
  Replies (43) Good night (14187) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  how high are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos? (828): how high are you? http://tfl.nu/9z76
  Replies (59) Good night (11568) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day. http://tfl.nu/k8ur
  Replies (15) Good night (8428) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

  (917): View more from New York City

  no it doesn't.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere. (720): ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning... (917): no it doesn't. http://tfl.nu/6x89
  Replies (34) Good night (17246) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you http://tfl.nu/59jr
  Replies (4) Good night (4150) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants http://tfl.nu/bet3
  Replies (14) Good night (13377) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world http://tfl.nu/qaz3
  Replies (30) Good night (6568) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago. http://tfl.nu/uh8m
  Replies (35) Good night (13115) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Me specifically?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Yep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Today in psych we learned that you are a whore. (1-314): Me specifically? (903): Yep. http://tfl.nu/w818
  Replies (44) Good night (9119) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life http://tfl.nu/pj1v
  Replies (16) Good night (7308) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard. http://tfl.nu/co7z
  Replies (31) Good night (6585) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever. http://tfl.nu/iaa1
  Replies (29) Good night (777) Bad night (6242) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Why is there a cactus in the microwave?

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Why is there a cactus in the microwave? (1-217): Don't worry about it. http://tfl.nu/f5vn
  Replies (25) Good night (10157) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  maybe i'll see you again later :)

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd rather shit a knife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): maybe i'll see you again later :) (774): I'd rather shit a knife. http://tfl.nu/qge0
  Replies (50) Good night (1467) Bad night (10337)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  was that a mass text??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing. (571): was that a mass text?? http://tfl.nu/0791
  Replies (60) Good night (10416) Bad night (1947)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  sarcasm needs its own font

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): sarcasm needs its own font http://tfl.nu/5kc7
  Replies (55) Good night (7998) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  my vagina's been through so much this weekend

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): my vagina's been through so much this weekend (1-860): you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend? http://tfl.nu/jr6r
  Replies (35) Good night (7268) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left. http://tfl.nu/ytq9
  Replies (28) Good night (6920) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse. http://tfl.nu/g7w2
  Replies (18) Good night (3748) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon http://tfl.nu/p3qx
  Replies (44) Good night (5902) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad http://tfl.nu/1udj
  Replies (13) Good night (1584) Bad night (4651) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This house was built for laser tag.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): This house was built for laser tag. http://tfl.nu/32ag
  Replies (14) Good night (8596) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur. http://tfl.nu/i4e8
  Replies (15) Good night (4573) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons.... (1-630): which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father? http://tfl.nu/vh34
  Replies (31) Good night (837) Bad night (5030) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....? http://tfl.nu/ofi7
  Replies (28) Good night (4490) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses http://tfl.nu/s1hg
  Replies (44) Good night (1105) Bad night (5404) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke http://tfl.nu/g6cx
  Replies (15) Good night (635) Bad night (4310) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you. http://tfl.nu/kclk
  Replies (26) Good night (784) Bad night (4258) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  and I must say, you were very persuasive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight. (303): and I must say, you were very persuasive http://tfl.nu/e18p
  Replies (74) Good night (17127) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C. http://tfl.nu/06rr
  Replies (23) Good night (6693) Bad night (544) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix. http://tfl.nu/c1od
  Replies (43) Good night (9398) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented. http://tfl.nu/jb6b
  Replies (810) Good night (11916) Bad night (5196) Order T-Shirt