Texts From Last Night

awfulawfulbunny's Favorites Texts:

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  (713): View more from Texas

  He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.

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  (713): He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop. http://tfl.nu/xdpv
  Replies (19) Good night (5776) Bad night (581) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"

  (314): View more from Missouri

  did it work

  (573): View more from Missouri

  that's not the point...

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  (573): his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?" (314): did it work (573): that's not the point... http://tfl.nu/fjqb
  Replies (74) Good night (9090) Bad night (717)
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  (718): View more from New York

  OMG. Drunk.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.

  (718): View more from New York

  Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.

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  (718): OMG. Drunk. (662): I'm so glad you fill me in on these things. (718): Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter. http://tfl.nu/my1k
  Replies (8) Good night (871) Bad night (354)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already

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  (914): I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already http://tfl.nu/bq9r
  Replies (19) Good night (1165) Bad night (3262) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.

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  (816): I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool. http://tfl.nu/0qcg
  Replies (42) Good night (11691) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.

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  (207): I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid. http://tfl.nu/67sh
  Replies (15) Good night (6409) Bad night (432) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

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  (610): she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot. http://tfl.nu/93sx
  Replies (26) Good night (6691) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?

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  (951): My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate? http://tfl.nu/77q7
  Replies (77) Good night (6709) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.

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  (519): I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was. http://tfl.nu/2sao
  Replies (12) Good night (4230) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.

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  (920): My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed. http://tfl.nu/bpdu
  Replies (17) Good night (1039) Bad night (4846) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis

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  (404): Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis http://tfl.nu/8wlo
  Replies (8) Good night (3947) Bad night (489)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius

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  (203): You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius http://tfl.nu/w3wu
  Replies (32) Good night (12005) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?

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  (816): She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit? http://tfl.nu/kt2r
  Replies (24) Good night (6969) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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  (816): So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. http://tfl.nu/bb44
  Replies (23) Good night (1265) Bad night (5007) Order T-Shirt