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did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
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