Texts From Last Night

Texts from July, 2010

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

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  (734): Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested. http://tfl.nu/xcij
  Replies (35) Good night (4694) Bad night (1328) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.

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  (731): the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink. http://tfl.nu/2z0e
  Replies (17) Good night (3486) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"

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  (540): you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out" http://tfl.nu/77z0
  Replies (16) Good night (4071) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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  (703): The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up. http://tfl.nu/ttp7
  Replies (14) Good night (4818) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

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  (908): Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks. http://tfl.nu/ltgr
  Replies (10) Good night (4606) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth

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  (865): I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth http://tfl.nu/mdm2
  Replies (13) Good night (754) Bad night (3522) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.

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  (501): Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog. http://tfl.nu/8mg1
  Replies (18) Good night (9225) Bad night (1115) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.

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  (304): it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears. http://tfl.nu/ziqy
  Replies (31) Good night (7589) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.

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  (512): apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls. http://tfl.nu/xowh
  Replies (13) Good night (787) Bad night (3475) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang

  (917): View more from New York City

  really making moves this morning i see

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  (202): just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang (917): really making moves this morning i see http://tfl.nu/4n5c
  Replies (15) Good night (3849) Bad night (867)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  You are nothing if not reliable.

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  (206): I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different. (1-206): You are nothing if not reliable. http://tfl.nu/5ioj
  Replies (11) Good night (4203) Bad night (877)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.

  (352): View more from Florida

  Just realized these events may be related.

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  (352): I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window. (352): Just realized these events may be related. http://tfl.nu/i6sd
  Replies (21) Good night (5609) Bad night (1272)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.

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  (918): My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that. http://tfl.nu/kyk3
  Replies (24) Good night (1879) Bad night (3258) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....

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  (609): just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public.... http://tfl.nu/rq3r
  Replies (24) Good night (6560) Bad night (1090)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner

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  (905): It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner http://tfl.nu/bz5d
  Replies (11) Good night (4140) Bad night (1056) Order T-Shirt