Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Week

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.

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  (740): Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint. (740): Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint. http://tfl.nu/vk5s
  Replies (22) Good night (361) Bad night (4217)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

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  (641): You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid. http://tfl.nu/bnv7
  Replies (16) Good night (717) Bad night (2843)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.

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  (509): My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood. http://tfl.nu/0wqb
  Replies (11) Good night (163) Bad night (2823) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit

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  (360): She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit http://tfl.nu/vja9
  Replies (12) Good night (367) Bad night (2104) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?

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  (406): Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver? http://tfl.nu/hdgc
  Replies (6) Good night (202) Bad night (1611) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.

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  (405): I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again. http://tfl.nu/ydjf
  Replies (12) Good night (194) Bad night (1594) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Not okay.

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  (503): Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car! (503): Not okay. http://tfl.nu/moe1
  Replies (6) Good night (188) Bad night (1490)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June

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  (864): Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June http://tfl.nu/abqo
  Replies (16) Good night (1282) Bad night (1331) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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  (708): Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him? http://tfl.nu/nbty
  Replies (8) Good night (265) Bad night (1306) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn

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  (931): i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn http://tfl.nu/8o33
  Replies (10) Good night (313) Bad night (1277) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.

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  (570): I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands. http://tfl.nu/xt87
  Replies (5) Good night (369) Bad night (1233) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.

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  (484): Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that. http://tfl.nu/p43x
  Replies (6) Good night (167) Bad night (1233) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.

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  (760): Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now. http://tfl.nu/d97x
  Replies (5) Good night (359) Bad night (1103)
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  (516): View more from New York

  What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?

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  (516): What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner? http://tfl.nu/aj21
  Replies (11) Good night (183) Bad night (1072) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...

  (661): View more from California

  Sorry.

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  (661): No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges... (661): Sorry. http://tfl.nu/vg1q
  Replies (12) Good night (250) Bad night (1067)