Texts From Last Night

Worst Nights of the Month

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.

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  (740): Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint. (740): Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint. http://tfl.nu/vk5s
  Replies (22) Good night (361) Bad night (4217)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable

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  (319): Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable http://tfl.nu/cclu
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  (956): View more from Texas

  The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.

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  (956): The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging. http://tfl.nu/1enr
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last

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  (410): i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last http://tfl.nu/j9db
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

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  (641): You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid. http://tfl.nu/bnv7
  Replies (16) Good night (717) Bad night (2843)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.

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  (509): My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood. http://tfl.nu/0wqb
  Replies (11) Good night (163) Bad night (2823) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.

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  (970): I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vise
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.

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  (209): I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/cws8
  Replies (23) Good night (466) Bad night (2651) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?

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  (541): bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me? http://tfl.nu/wm16
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe

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  (832): When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe http://tfl.nu/uvdo
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.

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  (410): My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end. http://tfl.nu/noz9
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles

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  (816): My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles http://tfl.nu/kz93
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?

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  (410): She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted? http://tfl.nu/werq
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit

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  (360): She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit http://tfl.nu/vja9
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  (707): View more from California

  She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.

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  (707): She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast. http://tfl.nu/czk4
  Replies (11) Good night (222) Bad night (2064) Order T-Shirt