Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (907)

Last Night in Alaska (907)

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(907): View more from Alaska

Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"

(414): View more from Wisconsin

I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea

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(907): Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed" (414): I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea http://tfl.nu/3884

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i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.

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(907): i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet. http://tfl.nu/l2j7

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You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now

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(907): You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now http://tfl.nu/vnkw

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Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.

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(907): Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina. http://tfl.nu/hpd0

Replies (36) Good night (2284) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?

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shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you

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(907): I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone? (810): shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you http://tfl.nu/u0b0

Replies (13) Good night (1857) Bad night (362)
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Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.

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(907): Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was. http://tfl.nu/9i4y

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I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘

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(907): I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘 http://tfl.nu/3lq0

Replies (11) Good night (2035) Bad night (390)
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I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.

(907): View more from Alaska

I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.

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(907): I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year. (907): I'm going to miss going to the strip club though. http://tfl.nu/ub9e

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We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.

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(907): We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab. http://tfl.nu/cfiv

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marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it

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(907): marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it http://tfl.nu/qmr1

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Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

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(907): Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room http://tfl.nu/45bd

Replies (11) Good night (604) Bad night (1353)
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I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.

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(907): I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled. http://tfl.nu/g1t3

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Threesome in a minivan. New low

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(907): Threesome in a minivan. New low http://tfl.nu/igpy

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Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.

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(907): Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo. http://tfl.nu/e2tw

Replies (7) Good night (365) Bad night (1740) Order T-Shirt
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Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.

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(907): Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/278e

Replies (18) Good night (5747) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Alaska (907)

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