Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor