Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Connecticut (860)

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  Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.

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  (860): Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms. http://tfl.nu/d3j8
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  I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...

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  (860): I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat... http://tfl.nu/q3ep
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  Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits

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  (860): Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits http://tfl.nu/8x16
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  You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.

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  (860): You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie. http://tfl.nu/zzfj
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  I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs

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  (860): I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs http://tfl.nu/e3vg
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  You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"

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  (860): You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES" http://tfl.nu/55vp
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  she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW

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  I have got to meet this girl.

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  (860): she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW (1-860): I have got to meet this girl. http://tfl.nu/ejln
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  Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.

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  (860): Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/pxbo
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  My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.

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  (860): My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck. http://tfl.nu/363f
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  Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me

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  (860): Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me http://tfl.nu/m9pd
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  Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.

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  (860): Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ht1g
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  I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season

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  (860): I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season http://tfl.nu/sdcu
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  Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.

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  (860): Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor. http://tfl.nu/foqn
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  you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice

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  peace be with you.

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  (860): you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice (1-860): peace be with you. http://tfl.nu/ffop
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  I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.

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  (860): I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS. http://tfl.nu/9u6p
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