Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (609)

Last Night in New Jersey (609)

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(609): View more from New Jersey

You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop

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(609): You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop http://tfl.nu/nra3

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.

(609): View more from New Jersey

sounds about right

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(215): judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend. (609): sounds about right http://tfl.nu/kfa3

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.

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(609): Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him. http://tfl.nu/6jaw

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One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.

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(609): One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste. http://tfl.nu/4m50

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.

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(609): I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art. http://tfl.nu/g5lr

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That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.

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(609): That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night. http://tfl.nu/lop5

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps

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(609): Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps http://tfl.nu/8xhn

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Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions

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(609): Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles? (1-609): In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions http://tfl.nu/67pw

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(609): View more from New Jersey

How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?

(941): View more from Florida

I was attacked by whores

(609): View more from New Jersey

You threw up on yourself again didn't you?

(941): View more from Florida

They were strong whores

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(609): How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club? (941): I was attacked by whores (609): You threw up on yourself again didn't you? (941): They were strong whores http://tfl.nu/xoz8

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Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

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(609): Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style. http://tfl.nu/0udf

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Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule

(856): View more from New Jersey

Lmao sorry

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(609): Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule (856): Lmao sorry http://tfl.nu/mr80

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(609): View more from New Jersey

YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS

(443): View more from Maryland

I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.

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(609): YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS (443): I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO. http://tfl.nu/tc5m

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My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days

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Sounds like the perfect vacation

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(609): My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days (1-609): Sounds like the perfect vacation http://tfl.nu/rgtv

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I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.

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(609): I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt. http://tfl.nu/9dqv

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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.

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(609): and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier. http://tfl.nu/u9m6

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Last Night in New Jersey (609)

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