Texts From Last Night

Last Night in North Carolina (336)

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.

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  Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.

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  (336): Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box. (336): Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark. http://tfl.nu/oail
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.

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  (336): I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs. http://tfl.nu/p7wi
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass

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  (336): For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass http://tfl.nu/ljpj
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"

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  (336): By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student" http://tfl.nu/w2vs
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class

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  (336): just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class http://tfl.nu/i0x8
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch

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  (336): You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch http://tfl.nu/vf66
  Replies (3) Good night (1965) Bad night (288) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot

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  (336): I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot http://tfl.nu/utnt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.

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  (336): I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years. http://tfl.nu/1nws
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  I just Tebowed the shit out of her.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.

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  (414): I just Tebowed the shit out of her. (336): Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb. http://tfl.nu/wxei
  Replies (10) Good night (1774) Bad night (352)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand

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  (336): Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand http://tfl.nu/ms4u
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper

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  (336): Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/9t3g
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.

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  (336): I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead. http://tfl.nu/ixs0
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.

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  (336): But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob. http://tfl.nu/czfm
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.

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  (336): I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done. http://tfl.nu/4ilz
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to

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  (336): Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to http://tfl.nu/huat
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