Texts From Last Night

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(424): View more from California

Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

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(424): Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus. http://tfl.nu/3sel

Replies (6) Good night (136) Bad night (15) Order T-Shirt
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(973): View more from New Jersey

he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH

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(973): he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH http://tfl.nu/asic

Replies (3) Good night (83) Bad night (35) Order T-Shirt
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(707): View more from California

Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth

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(707): Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth http://tfl.nu/or2s

Replies (7) Good night (28) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

(913): View more from Kansas

I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

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(337): Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell? (913): I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space. http://tfl.nu/aqjc

Replies (3) Good night (217) Bad night (38)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.

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(601): Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm. http://tfl.nu/epij

Replies (1) Good night (92) Bad night (13) Order T-Shirt
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(831): View more from California

He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!

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(831): He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?! http://tfl.nu/h0ux

Replies (10) Good night (56) Bad night (124)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.

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(706): I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today. http://tfl.nu/vvd3

Replies (6) Good night (247) Bad night (50) Order T-Shirt
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(636): View more from Missouri

We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.

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(636): We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer. http://tfl.nu/h1wg

Replies (3) Good night (125) Bad night (33) Order T-Shirt
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(602): View more from Arizona

I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.

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(602): I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house. http://tfl.nu/wmzr

Replies (2) Good night (113) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt
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(248): View more from Michigan

Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..

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(248): Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced.. http://tfl.nu/34jd

Replies (7) Good night (145) Bad night (254) Order T-Shirt
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(541): View more from Oregon

Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.

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(541): Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude. http://tfl.nu/4zcp

Replies (7) Good night (128) Bad night (59) Order T-Shirt
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(585): View more from New York

She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.

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(585): She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/s5wp

Replies (2) Good night (52) Bad night (133) Order T-Shirt
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Technically my penis started a fight tonight

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(920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets

Replies (6) Good night (211) Bad night (37) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...

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(313): Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door... http://tfl.nu/qt3a

Replies (4) Good night (56) Bad night (345) Order T-Shirt
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(720): View more from Colorado

So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.

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(720): So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together. http://tfl.nu/i6go

Replies (7) Good night (313) Bad night (74) Order T-Shirt

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